Will I ever?

I like the idea that the stars are the reflection of our past. I like to imagine the shooting stars and secretly make wishes. I like the idea of clock ticking backwards and a parallel universe where I exist as an extrovert. I like to believe that plants have some hearing mechanism and they secretly hear everything I tell them- my secrets, my dreams, my stupidness and my heart. I like to believe that walls have ears and paintings have eyes. I like to believe that humans are all made of stardust and a little bit of spice.

Escaping this world was never my aim, but having headphones in my ears and a book in the hand leaves me with no other option, or even if there is an option, I tend to ignore it. Sometimes I need to put “to smile” on my to-do list. You never know when you forget to smile. Life is so unpredictable, but so am I. I cry and laugh at the most unexpected moments. But those are the only times I cherish and times that are worth remembering. Even though human brains have unlimited memory, I like to store less. Even though the folders in my brain are extremely unorganized, I assure you, its better than my room. But being unorganized is cool. I like imperfections, I like being who I am. I like things without order and life without rules. I like rainy days and frosted windows. I like drawing on condensation that forms on glass and staring at the same view for half an hour because it seems to be appealing. My life might be monotonous, but I am content with my soul being colourful.

I am a dreamer with quite less accomplishments. I don’t like being unaware of what life is going to bring. But then, how can I expect my life to be predictable when I am myself unpredictable? But I wish to know, did I ever actually cross things from my bucket-list? Did I ever fulfil my dreams? Will I ever be on the road crossing the wishes on my list or will the list just be a piece of paper carrying the burden of my unfinished dreams? Will I ever see a sunrise and get lost in the beauty of it? Will I ever collect all the wildflowers? Will I ever step on all the seven continents? Will I ever go to Greece and fall in love with white and blue while dancing my way along the lamp posts and flower pots on the streets? Will I ever wander on the streets of Italy wondering where to eat pizza? Will I ever get to dance on the sidewalk when its raining? Will I ever sketch a full portrait and sign it? Will I ever learn to play piano? Will I ever have my own library? Or will I just look at this and laugh how foolishly stupid and naive I used to be?

I don’t want my dreams of today turn to jokes of tomorrow. This is all what I want to do and every time I see a shooting star, I will wish the same things over and over again. Because somewhere, deep inside, I like to believe in miracles. Because somehow, I manage to ignore science for a fraction of time and believe in fairytales and magic. Because deep inside, I know, I am still that kid, who still wishes to dwell in a cottage, somewhere in the woods and fall in love with a passerby.